1. Men get Man Flu. Women get Mean Girl Flu.
For some reason when we girls are sick we turn into mean girls. Our deeply buried high school cattiness comes out in full force and attacks our nearest and dearest. We have zero patience with anything or anyone and generally act like a total bitch. It’s a serious Jekyll and Hyde moment for us girls.
2. We turn into an emotional wreck.
Everything is upsetting. Everything makes us cry. TV advertisements that are not remotely sad will have us running for the tissue box. And all of our tiniest fears and worries will transform themselves into the biggest problems EVER. “WHY DO MY TROUSERS ALWAYS SAG AT THE KNEES?? LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!” (cue sobbing uncontrollably).
3. The smallest thing becomes difficult and frustrating.
Turning on the television, cooking something to eat, washing our hair, brushing our teeth, EVERYTHING is an uphill battle when we’re sick. We make small “Oww” noises as we move at the same pace as a snail around our homes. The simplest daily tasks become a burden and sighing becomes our new favourite thing to do. We start to realise that everything requires SO much effort and we really don’t have time for that in our current state. So we give up and lie on the sofa.
4. Our intelligence level decreases, slightly.
When we are sick we seem to lose our ability to think logically. The simplest things become very confusing and personally my computer becomes my worst enemy. The keyboard becomes a sea of numbers and letters that I no longer know how to use. Everything is SO complicated when you are sick.
5. You have to apologise repeatedly to your boyfriend for whining to get sympathy.
All girls are guilty of this. Men might get man flu and exaggerate their symptoms but us girls definitely use our feminine charms to get our other halves to do things for us. We ALL want sympathy and we want our boyfriend to give it to us. And last but not least girls whine when they are sick. We get so needy! Even though we have managed for the last 20 something years by ourselves, as soon as we have a cold, we need a man to make us soup and stroke our hair.
Women get man flu too, just in a slightly different way. So next time your man is sick, remember that. We are all guilty of wanting sympathy and men rarely get it, so be nice next time they have a cold. They deserve it.